ACCOMMODATION

The house sleeps six. Nobel prizewinners must be discouraged from investigating any of the containers in the store room, or otherwise out of reach places as substances on sale in France are often offered at concentrations unavailable in the U.K. All duvets and pillows are non-allergenic. There are bug plugs in every room at the start of the season, and refills are in the brush cupboard. Available at any supermarket. There is for your convenience a wall safe in the master bedroom, behind the picture on the wall backing onto the kitchen. Bit James Bond I know but what the eye doesn't see and all that.

Bedroom 1 (Master ) Double bed , fitted wardrobe with shelves and hanging. Patio window to the front, with a rolling shutter. Wall safe.

Bedroom 2 Two single beds, bedside table/chest of drawers, fitted wardrobe.

Bedroom 3 Two single beds, bedside table/chest of drawers, fitted wardrobe. We also supply waterproof sheets in case the children develop leaks. (It happens to all of us!) There are also extra blankets although you are most unlikely to need them

Living area Two soft leather settees, (please no little people with shoe buckles) one three seater, one two seater, coffee table, dining area, sideboard containing cutlery for twelve settings, glasses (a range of) games including Monopoly Scrabble Chess cards etc., plus a folder with holiday information - please add to. IMPORTANT!! The small but growing library does not necessarily reflect the taste of the owners. The aircon plant is situated fairly high up on the wall. The remote control is glued to the wall and must not be removed.  With reliability and repair costs, possibly yours, it has been located here, with the express intention of depriving small children of hours of amusement. Dining table, chairs, and place settings for eight.

Kitchen. Fridge, full cooker and microwave (English hob/oven - with driving instructions in sideboard drawer!) cooker hood. Range of cupboards containing pots and pans, crockery for eight place settings. Kettle, coffee maker, toaster. Smoke alarm which has a mute button (the toaster is guaranteed to set it off!) So is the cold water tap. Big on pressure, and  well hard. You'll get used to a soaking. Please take care of the worktops - NO HOT PANS. There are also chopping boards provided - so no excuses please. Feel free to search! Washing machine and second fridge situated just off the kitchen. The notice board is for your comments - local excursions, restaurant, etc.

Mezzanine.

Three seater soft leather settee. Ideal for a quiet read.

Bathroom. En-suite to master bedroom, shower area with "ANTIDERAPANT" floor. Oooh that sounds good. Conjours up all sorts of wild imaginations straight out of Cosmopolitan, actually means non-slip. WC, vanity unit, and heated towel rail. The vanity unit is claimed to be virtually indestructible but we must ask you not to go near it with hair dye, and absolutely no nail varnish or remover. It cost us a bomb.

Bathroom. (For the rest of them). Tiled floor, extremely slippery when wet, don't let the kids lark about for their own safety. Open shower with curtain, wash hand basin, mirror, cupboard. Towel rail, see elswhere.

Toilet. Traditional British style WC.

Outside. Store room providing accommodation for garden furniture, barbecue, air-conditioning plant, and a locked area which is strictly off limits. It is HEAVILY MINED, and guarded by mythical dragons, so keep the little buggers out!!

Car port. Approximately 12ft. by 24ft. Headroom for most domestic vehicles (2.3metres) but please REMEMBER THE BIKES!! An absolute godsend on the rare occasions that it rains and you have planned to barbecue.

Water

The tap water is perfectly wholesome and there is absolutely no reason whatsoever to suggest that bottled water should be used on health reasons. I will accept arguments that on taste grounds the bottled option has some merits, particularly if your taste is to dilute it with Malt, Cognac, or Pastis. Eau de Grande Source, Super U own brand is plain spring water, and apart from being the cheapest, is to my palate to be preferred even for the brewing of tea and coffee.